You don’t need no stinking party hat. You need a shower cap. It’s Read in the Bathtub Day! Uh-oh, were you expecting a big, fancy gala or something? Look out the window. It’s bleak and it’s wintry and it’s February. You want to go out in that? Are you crazy? Soaking in a hot bath … Continue reading : what’s with the party hat? :
Help me out, I’m confused. Are we celebrating the New Year or are we welcoming the end of the old one? I’m never sure what I’m supposed to do. So, please, don’t say both, it has to be one or the other. In my book, there’s no question, really. I’m celebrating the end of 2014 … Continue reading : here comes another one :
“There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.” -- Erma BombeckSleep late. And have a wondrous holiday.
You’ll have to bear with me here, I’m dopey from tryptophan. Dopey and sleepy and deeply regretting my choice of pants. They fit so nicely when I put them on this morning, now they’re a tool of the devil. I can’t breathe, I can’t bend, I’m as bloated as a parade balloon. Stand back, ladies … Continue reading : bursting with thanks or something :
Happy Holicane, everyone! What should we do to celebrate? Put on our pointy party hats? Blow noisemakers? I know, let’s all stand on the porch and wave. Let's say hello to the remnants of Hurricane Isaac and goodbye to the glorious days of summer. We knew the good-bye was coming; we knew summer wouldn’t last … Continue reading : holiday + hurricane = a holicane :
People are suffering needlessly under the popular misconception that August has no good holidays. That’s just not true. Has everyone forgotten my birthday? It’s in August. On the tenth. Hey, isn’t that, yup, today. Ha, gotta run, par-TAY! Wait, before I go, how about we make this National Blow Your Own Horn Day? We’ll make … Continue reading : blow your own damn horn :