Tag: trump
-
[ trump as a life hack ]
Energy is finite and attention spans are fleeting. Unfortunately, you need plenty of both to tackle unpleasant or tedious household chores and do them well. Cleaning the toilet, for instance, is an especially nasty task, requiring effort and lots of elbow grease. If you’re anything like me, you go heavy on the toilet cleaner,…
-
: independence? we got your independence :
There, how’s that? We aren’t a bunch of lemmings. Most of us have spines and functioning brain stems. We’re rational and we’re lucid, we think for ourselves. Sideshow Don doesn’t speak for us; the GOP doesn’t speak for us; the Russians don’t speak for us. Best of all, we’re perfectly capable of competing on a…
-
: dear canada :
Hello, eh? You Canadians are sensible people, right? You’re bright, well-mannered, helpful, a perfect neighbor. So would you do us all a big favor and invade America? Seriously, send your armed forces and save us from the bloated misfit in the White House (located at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington, DC 20500 — you can’t miss it).…
-
: may I have a word? :
Despite the swagger and braggadocio, Sideshow Don isn’t a linguistic genius. His vocabulary is limited to superlatives and insults. That isn’t inventive, that’s bluster. Sad. I, however, come up with new words all the time. Great words, tremendous words, the best words ever in history. I guarantee it. But I don’t stop there. Heck, no.…
-
: we’re all of us seahorses :
Or, to put it another way, we’re sitting ducks. Classified as a carnivorous fish, seahorses are found in shallow, temperate waters around the world and have an average life span of one to five years. Well, if they’re lucky, because those poor dudes can’t even giddyup. Thanks to an awkward body shape, seahorses are clumsy…