Tag: trump
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: independence? we got your independence :
There, how’s that? We aren’t a bunch of lemmings. Most of us have spines and functioning brain stems. We’re rational and we’re lucid, we think for ourselves. Sideshow Don doesn’t speak for us; the GOP doesn’t speak for us; the Russians don’t speak for us. Best of all, we’re perfectly capable of competing on a […]
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: dear canada :
Hello, eh? You Canadians are sensible people, right? You’re bright, well-mannered, helpful, a perfect neighbor. So would you do us all a big favor and invade America? Seriously, send your armed forces and save us from the bloated misfit in the White House (located at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington, DC 20500 — you can’t miss it). […]
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: may I have a word? :
Despite the swagger and braggadocio, Sideshow Don isn’t a linguistic genius. His vocabulary is limited to superlatives and insults. That isn’t inventive, that’s bluster. Sad. I, however, come up with new words all the time. Great words, tremendous words, the best words ever in history. I guarantee it. But I don’t stop there. Heck, no. […]
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: we’re all of us seahorses :
Or, to put it another way, we’re sitting ducks. Classified as a carnivorous fish, seahorses are found in shallow, temperate waters around the world and have an average life span of one to five years. Well, if they’re lucky, because those poor dudes can’t even giddyup. Thanks to an awkward body shape, seahorses are clumsy […]
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: dumb jokes not named trump :
We’re in the middle of a very long, very unfunny stretch, so we need a good laugh. That’s the purpose of dumb jokes, you know, to cheer us up. Give us a reason to smile. They’re not supposed to mill around the White House and destroy civilization. To that end, voilà: What do you call […]
the whirly girl 