Tag: twitter
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: who should I believe :
My eyes or common sense? I’m suspicious of both, since neither one is reliable. See, I recently received a couple of ‘likes’ on my twitter account from someone purporting to be David Letterman. Remember him? The guy from Late Night — Stupid Pet Tricks, Top Ten lists, Larry “Bud” Melman — that David Letterman, the…
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: uh-oh, computer’s down :
The damn thing swelled up like a puffer fish and I’m not kidding. The bottom bowed out and refused to lay flat on the desk. It wobbled and rocked and teetered and, frankly, looked a little explosive. I took it to the repair shop and left it for them to deal with. So, now, I’m…
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: the truly incredible sideshow don :
By incredible, I mean unbelievable. And, by unbelievable, I mean preposterous. The dude — and I want proof a Y chromosome exists in that womanly, full-figured body — has the weighty gravitas of an infomercial pitchman. When he speaks, caveat emptor becomes the all-inclusive caveat mankind. Donald Trump is a liar, flagrant and pathological. What’s…
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: we’re all of us seahorses :
Or, to put it another way, we’re sitting ducks. Classified as a carnivorous fish, seahorses are found in shallow, temperate waters around the world and have an average life span of one to five years. Well, if they’re lucky, because those poor dudes can’t even giddyup. Thanks to an awkward body shape, seahorses are clumsy…
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: I have the most loyal people :
So loyal. I could post the tax code and still draw a yuuuuge crowd of adoring fans. They love me no matter what I do. Just look at the fantastic numbers on my twitter account; I have 35 followers. Do you believe that? Thirty flipping five. And those aren’t fake followers, those aren’t bots. They’re…
the whirly girl 