: my last windmill has been tilted :

My days as a near-sighted Donna Quixote are done, kaput. I’m not kidding this time. My lifetime win / loss record stands at: Windmills 7,000 | Me 0

I’ll think twice, no, four times, before I’m drawn into another futile, unwinnable battle against the nefarious, illogical forces afoot in the land. Now, when I say forces, I mean bullies and when I say bullies, I mean the powerful villains who shake you down because they can. Or for fun.

You know the type, guys who make the rules, guys who make you fork over your lunch money. My insurance company does that. So does my bank. When asked why there’s a fee for paying my bill, they both said it was a ‘convenience fee’. Honestly? I don’t find it convenient and they wouldn’t tell me whose convenience was involved — mine or theirs.

I’ve tilted at landlords, parking enforcement, the cable company, wrong-headed policies. I’ve even tilted at winter, anything I’m powerless against. Those are the battles I picked to fight, the ones I can’t possibly win. There was a dumpster once, too. I limped away from that.

See, I didn’t care so much about winning. I cared about the standing up. I cared about not going gently, to mix my metaphors (or literary allusions). You know the old expression, you can’t fight city hall? Well, that’s a load of crap, of course you can fight city hall. You can go at it tooth and nail, hammer and tong. What you can’t do is win and that’s what pushed my ‘tilt’ button.

I knew it was pointless, I knew I’d pay a price, but I had to bump gloves and put up my dukes, you know?

I chafed and bridled and argued. I bobbed and I weaved. Then, KAPOW!, down I went, but not before landing a few punches. This was my way of protesting, my Occupy Wall Street. The difference is I didn’t have a prayer. Or a clue. Or the numbers. I didn’t even have Sancho Panza.

Right after my last battle, a thought occurred: this is stoopid. Then I said it out loud, through swollen lips and loosened teeth, thith ith sthoopit! And now, if you’ll excuse me, the EMTs are here.

Copyright © Publikworks 2011.

11 responses to “: my last windmill has been tilted :”

  1. nice one! I tried to battle out the bureaucracy once as well…got smacked down. So I have retreated to the peace of my own home where the bureaucrat is naturally me!


    1. It’s nice to hear from a fellow warrior, dadispen. I love your solution.


  2. ha! keep fighting!


    1. Do I have to? By the way, I love your gravatar, home tome. Too cute!


      1. Tankyew publikworks!


  3. “There was a dumpster once, too. I limped away from that.
    See, I didn’t care so much about winning. I cared about the standing up. I cared about not going gently, to mix my metaphors (or literary allusions).”


    The visual of you limping away made me laugh. Is that wrong?

    “..thith ith sthoopit!” … Thindy Brady couldn’t have said it any better.

    Brilliance here.


    1. Sometimes I channel a Benny Hill / Don Quixote combo. That is wrong.


  4. I bet you anything you like.. it is not over for you, that old horse (what was his name) is still tied up at the gate and Sanch is snoozing under a tree, just waiting for you to get your ire up! call me though i love a good rumble.. c


    1. I really hope you’re wrong, but I’ll put you on speed dial. Just in case.


  5. Now you are kidding, right? We do have these windmills here as well, in fact, germany is the epicentrum of buerocracy (I bet I typed this word wrong now *sigh*) and in most cases you do not even get to do the first hit. They have you knocked out withing the first 2.5 minutes just with papers and epic stupidness.

    But anyway, great post again =) I just love the way you rant about such things. Makes me feel better right away. Thank you. =)


    1. No, some companies charge a fee for electronic payments. They don’t explain what additional costs justify the, wait … serentity now!


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