: happy now? :

Summer’s gone and I don’t blame it. I’d have left, too. What with everyone moping around complaining about the weather — ‘oh, I’m so ho-o-o-t’, ‘oh, where’s fall’, ‘oh, turn on the air conditioning’. Bitch, bitch, bitch.

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What is wrong with you people? You get a perfectly delightful season of bright, beautiful mornings and lazy afternoons, sweet, gentle evenings and soft nights, and what do you do? You wish it away. Well, congratulations, it’s left. Adios. Summer’s hit the road.

In its place? Misery, and it’ll arrive by the shovelful. Life, my friends, is about to get ugly, then you’ll be sorry. Our world, you see, is preparing to call it quits, turn out the lights, and grow deathly still. Frozen in its tracks. Soon everything will be ice-coated and muffled, sort of like our ears. I hope you’re ready for the shivering and huddling, the slipping and sliding, the enduring the unendurable. Because that’s what lies ahead.

Thanks. Really. Thanks, a lot.

I just hope summer comes back, but I wouldn’t be surprised if we never hear from warm breezes or sunshine again. Not after the things you’ve said. Shame on you. Right now it’s 61 measly degrees. Last night the temperature dropped deep into the 40s. I was so cold I cranked up the electric blanket and inadvertently turned myself into a baked potato.

That’s better than a popsicle, though. Given a choice, I’ll take sweating over shivering every time. I’m serious, cold is my idea of Hell. Cold is my undoing, it’s my nemesis, my Waterloo. I’d rather be anything other than cold. The truth is, I looked forward to menopause — for the hot flashes. The joke was on me: I didn’t get them. Ha, good one, eh?

So, tell me, is this kind of weather cold enough or did you want the arctic stuff, the subzero cold? Yeah? You people are crazy.

Copyright © 2013 Publikworks

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24 Responses to “: happy now? :”

  1. Stuart Mcguckin

    And this is why I love living in Australia, we don’t know the meaning of cold in winter and our summer lasts forever. But I’m one of those people that will complain about it being too hot…

    Like

    • publikworks

      Okay, that was uncalled for. But, I’m glad you stopped by — even if you just wanted to rub my cold nose in your eternally warm, sunny weather.

      Like

  2. Karen

    I’m amazed at how it seems as though a switch is flipped and then suddenly summer is over. We went for 85 degree temps to 53 degree mornings, seemingly overnight. I would have preferred a more gentle easing into the next season.

    Like

    • publikworks

      There is no gentle way, Karen. None. Cold is cold. Maybe if we all think warm thoughts we can ward off some of the worst stuff? Here’s hoping.

      Like

  3. cecilia

    Not me! not me! You won’t hear me complaining about the summer! not me! I don’t even have air conditioning… c

    Like

    • publikworks

      celi, my soulmate! I have it, but I haven’t turned it on. Not once.

      So how the heck are you? I visited you yesterday and read about your plans to expand your vegetable selection next year — you go, girl.

      Like

      • cecilia

        I am tired, soulmate, and deeply envious of your electric blanket. But it will warm up (she shivers) surely we are not in late summer yet. Surely not. c

        Like

  4. the home tome

    The heat started clicking last night – and this is MY winter nemesis – we have had 3 heating experts come over to try and quiet it down to no avail. I wakes me up, it keeps me awake, it grates on my last nerve. Oh well, it will only click for about 8 months…

    Like

    • publikworks

      Hiya, home tome! Sleep is my second favorite thing, following closely behind warm. So I understand your frustration. My thoughts are with you.

      Like

  5. FurthermoreAndSoForth

    No hot flashes! What a cruel, cruel joke. The same happened with me but in Texas, where it was a godsend. In Texas, too, the advent of fall and winter is reason to rejoice. Here in Washington, not so much and I’m worried, Lisa. I haven’t the wardrobe for this. Help.

    Like

    • publikworks

      Do not panic, Jo, this is my area of expertise. Let’s work from the ground up, starting with your feet: socks. You will need them, they’ll be your best friend. I recommend the Smart Wool brand, I could not survive without them. Check out REI — they carry Smart Wool and I think they’re based in your neck of the woods. And don’t forget the long underwear! I swear by Duofold (or Duo-Fold, I always forget). They’re soft and oh-so-toasty. Next post? Hats.

      Like

      • FurthermoreAndSoForth

        Wow, thanks. Talk about invaluable information. I’m putty in your hands, Lisa, and will eagerly await your expert hat advice.

        Like

  6. Blogdramedy

    I’m an atheist who used to avoid talking about religion until I learned people will tell me I’ll burn in hell. Now I say “bring it.”

    Like

  7. Lukraakvars

    Oh I wish there was a LOVE button for this. I feel exactly the same way about winter as you, thats why I am so glad its gone… Sorry it went straight to you tho. It is supposed to be spring here but as I mentioned in my latest blog, Johannesburg only has 2 seasons. I hope you don’t freeze too badly! Sending warmth your way all the way from Sunny South Africa.

    Like

    • publikworks

      How I wish we were in the same hemisphere — misery loves company and all that. Still, it’s comforting to know you understand. I hope it’s a mild winter, but I’m scared it will be the exact opposite: brutal Just brutal :’ (

      Like

      • Lukraakvars

        Same hemisphereness would be awesome… but only if its southern hemisphere hehe. I think you should make like a goose and fly south for the winter. ;) just a thought hehe. Good Luck!

        Like

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