Year: 2018
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: hide and seek :
I’m hiding and I’m seeking and I’m the only one playing this stoopid game. I imagine you’re wondering what in the world I’m talking about, so I’ll get straight to the point. When I label computer documents, I insist on being clever instead of plain-spoken. Tracking stuff down, therefore, becomes a flipping time suck, otherwise…
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: pardon the Easter blasphemy :
Sure, saying I rose from the injured sounds sacrilegious, but it’s accurate. I caught my foot on a metal storm grate the other afternoon and went head first onto the pavement. Onlookers were zipping past in cars and buses and on motorcycles, so I popped up like toast and kept walking with a blood-drenched tissue…
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: add one to the smart column :
Holy cow, do I even have a Smart column? Where is it? I haven’t needed one for so long I’ve forgotten where I put it. Oh, who cares, I’ll record my triumph here, instead. Are you ready? I’ve never had a Facebook account. Tada. That’s right. I am not now, and never have been, part…
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: ideas rain down, too :
Just not good ones and certainly not yesterday. However, instead of being disgusted with the crappy weather, I decided to take full advantage and indulge in unabashed laziness. I didn’t even get dressed. I sat around in boxers eating Pecan Swirls all morning, Oreos all afternoon, Klondike bars all evening. By bedtime, my sweatshirt was…
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: you think you’re suffering? :
I gave up Coca-Cola for Lent. You heard me, Coke — that most refreshing of beverages. Am I: A. Crazy B. A martyr C. Seeking sainthood Possibly. No. Get real. This was one more woefully misguided decision, the kind in which I seem to specialize. You see, I love Coke more than socks and depend…