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[ a hard reset ]
Oh, who am I kidding? A reset wouldn’t be hard. Carrying on as usual, that would be hard. Crushing, soul-sucking, killer hard. I can’t do it. I won’t. No, sir. I need a change, dammit. A fresh direction. A new perspective. Something. Anything. I’m dying of boredom. And if I’m bored, I fear for your…
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[ my slide into hoarding ]
Right now, sitting in my pantry, are eight 6-packs of Coca-Cola, six boxes of Premium Mini saltines, mega rolls of Bounty paper towels the size of oil drums, a mountain of toilet paper, can after can of Folger’s Black Silk coffee, plus odds and ends. The refrigerator, meanwhile, is crammed with gallons of milk and…
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[ inconvenience is survivable ]
It’s a time suck. It’s more work. It’s a killjoy and an effing misery, but it isn’t fatal. I learned all this first-hand when my car died. Our final trip was to Barnes & Noble on a cold, windy evening. I pulled into a parking spot and, in the gathering darkness, the dashboard glowed with…
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[ the contronym ]
There are antonyms. There are synonyms. There are homonyms. And there are, to my everlasting surprise, contronyms. A contronym, I discovered, is a word that is its own opposite. It’s also known as a Janus word, or an antagonym, or an autoantonym. I, however, prefer to think of them as the schizophrenics of language or…